So, I know it has been a really long time since I've blogged, and I apologize for that. It has been a really chaotic few months for me (not an excuse I know!) and I suddenly have had a moment of sheer epiphinatic (yes, I made it up, just go with the flow...) genius!
So, at the end of August I started renting my very first apartment in what is generally called the "ghetto" of my city. It's a little intimidating, and I know some readers are getting to the point where they're looking at renting or just starting out on their own in the first place. I'm also pledging into a fraternity (again, go with it, you'll understand soon.) and I'm nearing the second year of my relationship with my boyfriend.
The Start of Something New & BeautifulSunday, October 3, 2010
So, I feel those are 3 big commitments to blog about for all of my readers. :)
Paying the Bills...
I'm going to give you a little insight and advice on how to keep this as simple and unstressful as possible.
1. When you move into your apartment/house/where ever you'll be paying a monthly rent; get a small box or folder and label it Bills and organize it by date due. Most bills are due only once a month, and can be separated very easily by date. Your rent is usually due right at the beginning of the month (mine is due the 4th of each month) and your electricity bill (assuming you pay your utility bills, of course) is usually due in the middle or the end of the month. Other things like cell phone bills, insurance bills, etc., will be due at times that vary per bill. So, get that box or folder and label, separate, and save!
2. Something I like to do is buy "big groceries" once every two to two-and-a-half weeks. By doing this, you're more likely to actually spend less money in the long run on your groceries if you do this. Make a list of what you'll need in general (spices, milk, bread, eggs, meats, other dairy products, veggies and fruit, etc.) and then what you want. What can you get at a later time? (Those Hostess Cakes can wait, readers!) and What do you need now? Toiletries are a must. As tacky as some of you may think it is, go to The Dollar Tree and buy your hair care products, spices, and other things. You can get more for your dollar (literally!) and now they even have a frozen section!
3. Once you're comfortable after a few months (I haven't hit this stage yet, but soon I will!) of living on your own and get the hang of paying/saving for bills you will find that you'll have a little extra to spend every month on the things you want. New dress for formal? You'll probably have enough money at the end of the month to buy it! Hair dryer? Bought. Just do what you're comfortable with, but remember that saving ahead isn't always a bad idea, even if the money is burning a hole in your pocket!
Pledging Alpha Phi Omega...
So, I've decided to pledge into a service Fraternity (they have men and women in this organization) and this is something I think I should address.
1. If you are not passionate or serious, don't join. That is really, really, truly something I try to push when I talk about Greek Life to ANYONE. If you're going to pledge to any organization, please be serious about it. Don't join it for the letters or resume building qualities, pledge for the family you're joining and the cause you're supporting with the men/women of your group.
2. Make sure you can handle the dues. Most fraternities/sororities have fundraising or payment plans you can use. If there is ever a time you need to use those resources, please ask a member that has been active longer than you! It isn't a bad thing to ask for help! :)
3. Remember, be thorough. Don't go into a group because you like the ideal. Look at the people. Do you truly fit in? Do you know the ins and outs of things?
My philosophy on Greek Life is to find the one group you fit in with, then go to another. Sometimes you think you fit in so well with one group and when you switch it up, you may find you're more suited for another. No one will penalize you for weighing your options, in fact, we prefer it!
Nearing the Second-Year Mark...
This doesn't have any points or bullets. I'm not going to tell you that it's extremely hard or easy. I'm going to tell you, though, that this is an amazing experience that I hope lasts. :) I'm so in love, and while it isn't as easy as the movies make it looks, it can be effortless if you're truly comfortable. You'll fight, you always will, but if you can look at each other and talk it out, smile, and kiss and make up, you're going to be alright.
I highly recommend a relationship with someone as amazing as my "Skinny Boy."
I'm going to try and update this blog every week now, or at least twice a month. Keep on commenting, readers! I love to hear your feedback! <3>
Sincerely,
The Fat Girl
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Something I believe everyone, no matter how beautiful or sexy you might be, struggles with is self confidence. I've seen and heard and experienced it countless times; the prettiest girl or hottest guy thinks there's so many things wrong with their body that it just absolutely consumed them. It can hurt more than just you, though, it can hurt friends and families and relationships just as much.
So this entry, I've decided, will be the tricks I've discovered about Self Confidence over the years!
A little background on how I discovered these tips will, of course, be provided for example purposes only.
Trick One: Keep Your Head Up
When I was raped in eighth grade -- and in fact all through my Middle School years -- I had a problem keeping my head up. I looked to the floor, at people's feet and never really made much direct eye contact. In doing so no one really ever got to see my face or smile or eyes, no one could ever tell if I was happy or sad or upset. A few weeks after I was raped it was even worse for me -- why should I keep my head up when I haven't for all these years already, right? The trick is simple! When you're feeling at your worst you have to put on your bravest smile and hold your head up high. It's not about looking pompous or something like that, it's about showing the world you're confident enough to look even the sky in the face! Make eye contact, and if you happen to trip, laugh it off and keep your chin up. No matter how bad you feel, I can garuntee that this will boost up that confidence in an instant!
Trick Two: Smile Often
I've talked about the smiling issue before. If you walk around or drive around with a frown, who's going to notice you? If you aren't noticed, doesn't it make you feel a little worse about yourself sometime? I know it makes me feel like crap about myself when I'm out and I can't even get one person to look my way. A smile, no matter how grungy or frumpy you look, is going to turn heads guys! Promise! So when you're out, smile at everyone and smile as often as possible whenever you can! Smiling, by the way, also makes your mood better, and when you're in a good mood it's so much easier to smile, huh?
Trick Three: Be Fearless
We're all scared of something, and don't be one of those people that tells me you have no fear but fear itself. That's such a crock, you know it. But, when you're feeling the most frightened is the best time to smile in the face of whatever you fear and go at it head on. Feeling nervous about a test? Study and go into the classroom with a positive attitude and a smile! You'll probably do better than you originally thought! Big date tonight? Make a playlist on your computer or iPod that has "Pump Up" music on it (i.e. T.I., Rhianna, Akon, etc.) and blast it as you're getting ready. Dance around in your undies, take silly pics of you (clothed of course!) and have a blast! Not only will this get your mind off of how nervous you are, but it's going to make you exude suave confidence when the lucky lady/man comes over for the date!
Trick Four: Be YOU
The old Dr. Pepper commercial couldn't have been more right in it's jingle. "Be You, Do What You Do." Is exactly what this trick is about. Don't change yourself just to fit into what society deems normal. Be yourself, thrive on your love of collecting old paperclips or stale gum! When you have the confidence to be you, everything you do is going to show that you love and care for who you are and that you have the confidence to be an individual. People love you for your quirks (I burn myself with my straightener and am obsessed with reality shows, my boyfriend thinks it's the most weird, crazy thing in the world but I think deep down he loves me for my weirdness!) so show them off!
Trick Five: Dress Appropriately
Ladies, Gents, I can't stress this enough. Having your pants hug just below your ass (guys) is not in the least bit attractive. Put a belt on it, please, or most people won't pay you a lick of attention except to laugh. Guys, for you it's a bit easier. There are rules to dressing, yes, but at the same time you don't have so many *ahem* places to cover so you aren't pulling a Janet on the world. Wear pants that FIT nicely (sometimes a little tight is good, but NUT HUGGERS are really NOT that cute on a male... leave something to the imagination?) and wear a shirt that doesn't have too many holes or stains on it that fits you properly. Now, ladies, for us it's a bit more shady -- this line of "appropriate" dressing. I've shown you examples of how and how not to dress in a previous entry, so you can always go back to that for reference, but in general the rule is: Some cleavage is okay, don't show us your ass AND/OR thong (no one likes whale tail, kay?) and minimal midriff is preferred. By dressing more appropriately, you're going to feel better about yourself. I get more looks when I'm wearing jeans and a tshirt than I do wearing formal clothes or looking like a hooker. :)
There is it. My five tricks to Self Confidence. Follow these and I know you'll get results. In the end, it is ultimately you that makes the self confidence work, but there's no problem with using these little tricks to boost that gorgeous ego, right?
Sincerely,
The Fat Girl
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Lately I've noticed a trend; we expect to be loved and appreciated, but we can't love and appreciate our own gorgeous selves. Why? I know people in this world that are the most handsome, most beautiful men and women and yet they look at themselves in disgust and I just can't understand it.
So, in light of this current "low-self-love" epidemic, I propose a challenge to you, my readers and fellow friends.
Love yourself.
Here's what you do:
1. Every morning when you wake up, look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are gorgeous, beautiful, fabulous, fantastic, stellar, whatever! Say it with a smile, because I've found that saying it with a smile is much more appealing to not only you, but to your body as well.
2. Nelson Mandella once said (I'm paraphrasing.) "Who am I to be fabulous?" And the real question is, who are you not to be? Ask yourself every day, at least twice a day, who you think you are to be so fabulous. Are you a great writer? A fantastic singer or dancer? Maybe you can do some damn cool tricks on your skate/surfboard and just want to be recognized for that? Or maybe, just maybe, you have a one in a million personality that makes you fabulous. Ask yourself, and see if you don't come up with an answer that will make you just as fabulous as who you want to be.
3. Every day find a new thing about yourself that you like. Eyes, ears, nose, mouth, legs? What part of your body is just so freaking irresistable that even you wanna kiss it? (Lol!) If you, one day, say you have fabulous cleavage or a sexy pair of legs, accentuate them! Wear a low cut shirt or a short skirt! If you're a guy... well... don't wear anything too low cut. ;P Seriously though, if you're a guy, just roll with it. If you walk around like you've got an ego as big as your *cough* EHEM, then baby you're gonna have an ego as big as that! Don't let negativity of other's get you down.
4. Don't listen to the media or look to them for advice. They will tell you, man or woman, what you need to look like and how to get to that point of good-lookingness. (Yes, I made up a word.) Just go ask a friend if you look nice, everyone needs a compliment to get them through the day.
My challege to you is, readers, send me a photo (link or post it on here or on my Facebook account) and tell me what you think looks best about you. Tell me how this blog has changed your image, let me know the things you've learned on how to love you and be who you are.
Sound like a plan, readers?
Let's have some fun with this!
I'll have a small prize for the Top 3 photos I recieve, they'll be judged by two other people as well as myself so let's get this rolling!!
I love you all.
So you better love you too!
Sincerely,
The Fat Girl
So, in light of this current "low-self-love" epidemic, I propose a challenge to you, my readers and fellow friends.
Love yourself.
Here's what you do:
1. Every morning when you wake up, look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are gorgeous, beautiful, fabulous, fantastic, stellar, whatever! Say it with a smile, because I've found that saying it with a smile is much more appealing to not only you, but to your body as well.
2. Nelson Mandella once said (I'm paraphrasing.) "Who am I to be fabulous?" And the real question is, who are you not to be? Ask yourself every day, at least twice a day, who you think you are to be so fabulous. Are you a great writer? A fantastic singer or dancer? Maybe you can do some damn cool tricks on your skate/surfboard and just want to be recognized for that? Or maybe, just maybe, you have a one in a million personality that makes you fabulous. Ask yourself, and see if you don't come up with an answer that will make you just as fabulous as who you want to be.
3. Every day find a new thing about yourself that you like. Eyes, ears, nose, mouth, legs? What part of your body is just so freaking irresistable that even you wanna kiss it? (Lol!) If you, one day, say you have fabulous cleavage or a sexy pair of legs, accentuate them! Wear a low cut shirt or a short skirt! If you're a guy... well... don't wear anything too low cut. ;P Seriously though, if you're a guy, just roll with it. If you walk around like you've got an ego as big as your *cough* EHEM, then baby you're gonna have an ego as big as that! Don't let negativity of other's get you down.
4. Don't listen to the media or look to them for advice. They will tell you, man or woman, what you need to look like and how to get to that point of good-lookingness. (Yes, I made up a word.) Just go ask a friend if you look nice, everyone needs a compliment to get them through the day.
My challege to you is, readers, send me a photo (link or post it on here or on my Facebook account) and tell me what you think looks best about you. Tell me how this blog has changed your image, let me know the things you've learned on how to love you and be who you are.
Sound like a plan, readers?
Let's have some fun with this!
I'll have a small prize for the Top 3 photos I recieve, they'll be judged by two other people as well as myself so let's get this rolling!!
I love you all.
So you better love you too!
Sincerely,
The Fat Girl
Saturday, December 5, 2009
From public displays of affection to getting creative in the bedroom, we're all looking for ways to turn our men on (those go-to moves are great but can get a bit boring) and keep things interesting in the sack. In this entry I'm sticking strictly to the women, handing out a few ideas as to what you can do to keep him in constant wonder and keep up with how the Big Girls do it in the real world.
Let's face it, we've all had that moment when we're making out or getting intimate that we've been self conscious about our weight, what to do with our hands, if we're good kissers. You can say 'nah, not me!' but the fact is, ladies, you have. :) So, we'll address four very important things in this entry.
Kisses.
Condoms.
Using your weight to your advantage.
Avoiding the 'Hand' Dilemma.
Kissing -- The Simple Step
There are, of course, different types of kisses. Open mouthed kisses, french kisses, sloppy kisses, cute kisses, etc... and sometimes it can be hard to choose which one is the best kind of the situation. Your best bet is to do what your mind is telling you to do; don't think, just do!
Pressing open mouthed kisses along your man stomach and chest will set off little sparks because of the nerves in the stomach and on this sensitive area. If he laughs and says it tickles, just press a bit harder and the kiss will have the desired effect!
French kisses can turn into sloppy kisses very easily. If you're not a fan of having your man's slobber all over you during a hot make out session, then the trick is to gently pull away when he's getting a little too "trigger happy" with his tongue. This will, generally, let him know he's being a bit too forceful about the kiss and he should tone it down a bit. If this doesn't work, pull away (again, gently) and trail your kisses from the corner of his lips (there are tons of nerve endings in the skin around his lips, and yours!) to the bottom of his earlobe, down to his neck, and then go for the lips again. Slow the pace down and his saliva levels may go down a bit.
Cute kisses are my personal favorite. These kisses are fun, quick, playful and let your man know you're ready to have a good time. Simply press a few kisses, spacing them a few seconds apart each, to his lips and then pull away. He'll be expecting another kiss, and when you don't give it to him it will only make him want more.
And that's the point right?
Making him want more? ;)
Condoms -- the most important, safe, step.
Let's face it, we've all had that moment when we're making out or getting intimate that we've been self conscious about our weight, what to do with our hands, if we're good kissers. You can say 'nah, not me!' but the fact is, ladies, you have. :) So, we'll address four very important things in this entry.
Kisses.
Condoms.
Using your weight to your advantage.
Avoiding the 'Hand' Dilemma.
Kissing -- The Simple Step
There are, of course, different types of kisses. Open mouthed kisses, french kisses, sloppy kisses, cute kisses, etc... and sometimes it can be hard to choose which one is the best kind of the situation. Your best bet is to do what your mind is telling you to do; don't think, just do!
Pressing open mouthed kisses along your man stomach and chest will set off little sparks because of the nerves in the stomach and on this sensitive area. If he laughs and says it tickles, just press a bit harder and the kiss will have the desired effect!
French kisses can turn into sloppy kisses very easily. If you're not a fan of having your man's slobber all over you during a hot make out session, then the trick is to gently pull away when he's getting a little too "trigger happy" with his tongue. This will, generally, let him know he's being a bit too forceful about the kiss and he should tone it down a bit. If this doesn't work, pull away (again, gently) and trail your kisses from the corner of his lips (there are tons of nerve endings in the skin around his lips, and yours!) to the bottom of his earlobe, down to his neck, and then go for the lips again. Slow the pace down and his saliva levels may go down a bit.
Cute kisses are my personal favorite. These kisses are fun, quick, playful and let your man know you're ready to have a good time. Simply press a few kisses, spacing them a few seconds apart each, to his lips and then pull away. He'll be expecting another kiss, and when you don't give it to him it will only make him want more.
And that's the point right?
Making him want more? ;)
Condoms -- the most important, safe, step.
Choosing a brand of condom, a flavor, a texture, an amount can be very frustrating. You aren't sure what you'll get every time in Variety Packs, and how do you know for sure which brand is the most reliable? Not only can you find resources here on my blog about the brand of condom to use, but you can go to http://www.durex.com for more information. This website, along with my own, will help you make the right decision.
Personally I will not use Trojan brand condoms. I've heard too many testimonies that they break easily, so I don't trust them. Durex is what my boyfriend and I use, we've never had a problem with them before. They come in a variety of flavors, textures, colors and have been deemed the most reliable brand. Check their linked website above for the complete details.
Using a condom is important, the right kind will not desensitize the sensation of sex for you or your man. Durex makes a brand called Avanti Bare and it feels like there's not even a condom on. Flavored condoms are not for any girl who doesn't like to go down on her guy, what fun is a flavored penis if you can't enjoy it? (LOL) Also, if you don't want the smell of whatever flavor the condom is, stay clear. Durex flavored condoms have an extremely strong scent.
Please remember that condoms are not 100% effective in preventing STDs, HIV/AIDS, and pregnency. Read the pamphlet inside of the box of condoms to see the proper way to put on the condom and to determine the right fit. Durex also has two or three different sizes, so generally you're covered.
Forget the negativity -- Use your weight to your advantage.
Women all over the world worry about their weight and how the look during sex. Contrary to popular opinion, big girls can have fantastic sex! Throw those inhibitions away and get wild girls! You can use your weight to your advantage and wow your man with your new found confidence.
Personally I've never had a more attentive boyfriend, someone who is 100% into my body and how I look and feel. He loves my weight and we have amazing sex that lasts for hours on end. Simply rub against him, let your guy feel how soft and smooth your body is with whatever extra weight you have on it. The sensation of your skin with that slight bit of friction will cause his jaw to drop, and it's something you'll like the feeling of too! Don't let the negativity get to you, girls, if your man is happy with you and happy with your sex life, you shouldn't worry!
Try something new and fun, I garuntee he'll like it! ;)
And now, drum roll please!!
-Insert drum sounds here-
The Hand Dilemma -- What in the hell do we do with our hands?!
Have you ever had that really cute moment with your man and then there are your hands, hanging lifelessly from your arms? Yeah, it's not cute! Girls, unless you have rugged or rough hands your man will enjoy you carressing his face, arms, back, neck, shoulders, or body with them! Don't worry about where to put them, just touch a place and go from there! ;)
Sex sells, ladies and gentlemen, and believe it or not plus size women of the world can have an amazing sex life just like any other girl. These tips, however, don't just apply to any girl with a little extra weight. Any one can use these tips.
Have fun.
Be safe!
;)
Sincerely,
The Fat Girl
Labels: affection, bedroom, birth control, condom, condoms, creative, cute kiss, Durex, french kiss, kiss, kisses, kissing, open mouthed kiss, PDA, sex, sloppy kiss, women
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
A lot of people ask, what makes you you?
And sometimes, well, I'm not so sure I can answer.
I feel like I need to give you guys a slightly more in depth glimpse of who I am and why I've started this blog for you, for the world.
I attended a Child Abuse class last night for work, I have to have it for my new job at Toddler Time daycare, and after talking with a very amazing woman (she taught the class) I decided I needed to finally post this for my readers and followers.
Warning: This entry includes semi-graphic content that you could find offensive. This is my life, my story, please do not show any negativity towards my views and happenings.
I feel I should write this blog, because you all only know a certain side of me. As readers, that isn’t fair to you, because you should know me better. I believe that no one can give advice to you if you don’t have a little insight on their person! So, let me formally apologize for not introducing myself a bit better before now!
My name is Sisi Nicole Minton; I’m a 19 year old student at Heidelberg University. I’m studying English Education, and I sing. Music used to be my life, but some events changed that when I got to college. I hate to say that, but it’s completely true. That part if me isn’t too important. The rest of this is.
My outlook on life is probably much, much different than yours because, you see, I’ve been through a lot. When I was very young my parents could no longer care for themselves or each other due to crippling disabilities. This was hard enough, as I had to learn how to take care of my little brother, and help more around the house than most kids had to at my age. I was in 8th grade when I finally was able to see a change in my parents, they could take care of themselves by this point in my life, but the events that happened than year, sadly, nearly ended my life.
I was raped near the end of my 8th grade year, when the rest of the 8th grade class went to Washington D.C. I was 13 years old. I didn’t know the guy who did it, I know his name but I didn’t know him personally. I got raped in the Greenroom of my Middle School’s theatre building. I remember those 45 minutes like they happened yesterday. It had just started storming outside, I was trying to get to my bus on time and the quickest way out was through the theatre building that was attached to our school. I usually didn’t come this way, but I was running late that afternoon so it had to be done. I went to the doors, and to my surprise they were locked. I was just starting out in the theatre and knew they usually weren’t locked this early after the bell, but I didn’t pay it any mind. I went through the Greenroom door, which is where he caught me. Pulling me inside of that room he told me not to scream, not to tell. I didn’t. I said no, that I didn’t want him to touch me, but he didn’t listen. It was a grueling 45 minutes to say the least. I lost my virginity to a rapist, and could never get it back.
I wonder, though, how bad is it that THAT was running through my head? My virginity was the only thing I cared about at that point. I didn’t cry while he was raping me, I didn’t scream and I didn’t do anything besides what he told me to do. I was scared, thoughtless after the first twenty or so minutes of the ordeal. When he was finally done I just layed there on the floor, gathering my clothes. I got dressed and quietly went to the office, tearless, and called my parents. They came and got me.
I didn’t say a word from Friday until Monday.
I was already going through a phase at this point of my life. I wore nothing but black because that’s what my friends wore. I thought I’d found my place to fit in in the “Gothic” crowd but I was wrong. By Monday rumors had started, some of my best friends stopped talking to me because of these rumors. I sat in silence, afraid to speak out about what had happened because it was my fault, right? Sitting in Science class that afternoon for 8th period, and guess who sat beside me? Him. It was him, the guy who had raped me. “Organism spells Orgasm too, you know?” He said, sliding his hand right down my thigh and between my legs. I’d had it at that point, I lost my temper. I slapped him, and finally told a teacher what had happened. I mean, I know everyone hates a snitch but I had to tell someone.
That was the night my parents hit me for the first time. I had to go home and tell them, or else the school would call and tell them for me. I thought they’d understand, I thought of all people, my parents would’ve supported me. My dad was the first to raise his voice, my mother the first to raise her hand. Not only was I raped, but I was beaten so badly I had to go to the hospital. I went to bed soon after that, with broken ribs and a bruised up body.
I wanted to die.
The trial for my rape didn’t take place for a year. In the middle of my Freshman year of high school I was still getting harassed by the guy who raped me. Matters were taken into my real friends’ hands. One pushed him down the stairs, the other knocked his head against a metal rail a few times. Believe it or not, the teachers – knowing what the guy had done – just watched while this happened. The principal asked me if I knew anything about this, I said no. I had no idea what some of my friends were doing until after the incidents.
He was never convicted, never in trouble for what he did.
After the rape and abuse started when I was 13, I started sleeping around. I got into drinking, was put into a rehabilitation program, and experimented ONCE with drugs. I can easily tell you now that I have never been more of a wreck than I was at this time in my life. I was fooling around with people I shouldn’t have even been associating with, and I was drinking like a fish. I had gone downhill at this point in my life. I’m only glad I could get clean when I did.
It’s been 6 years since the abuse by my parents started, and I am stronger because of it. I can’t say I’m pleased with it in the least, but it’s something that has helped me grow. You’ve all heard the phrase “tough love,” but I’ve never experienced real, true, parental love. I have, of course, friends that truly love me and older friends (ie teachers, directors, fellow MCPers) but until this past Valentine’s Day I have never been in love with someone as much as I am in love with my boyfriend Kyle.
When the relationship started out, and I mean when we were dating and not just besties, I was a self-conscious, scared-to-death girl. I hated myself, I hated my weight and the way I looked. Kyle helped me change that. Through his help and encouragement I spoke to someone about my rape for the first time in 5 years, and I finally confronted my abuse with the love and encouragement not only of my boyfriend, but of my best friends. I have never been so scared and relieved in my life. The day I finally talked about my abuse and rape, was the first time I cried in front of, well, pretty much anyone.
I cried in front of my boyfriend, someone I really never wanted to see me cry.
I think it made us closer though.
I’m not one to open up about my feelings to someone like a boyfriend, and I certainly wasn’t planning on opening up like that to him. Not a chance! I thought, if I do this it’s going to scare him off, but no. For the first time in my life I had someone that close to me who really cared enough to listen. It felt like the first time he said ‘I love you’ to me. You know that feeling you get when you just know something good is about to happen? I have that feeling a lot when I’m with him, readers.
I am irrevocably, unbelievably, undeniably in love with him.
For the love of a fat girl. People may think it doesn’t take much to convince someone like me that they love me, it’s happened before. “I love you” is tossed around so easily now, and I’m the kind of idiot who’s believed it before. I’ve done things before that I regret just because someone said that to me.
Have you ever had that feeling when you look into someone’s eyes and you just know that there’s that… that special something there? That sort of… imistakable devotion and adoration between you and the person you’re with? That’s how I feel with him, readers.
For the love of a fat girl.
I’m completely head over heels,
Story-book romance,
Cheesey Disney movie storyline,
In love with him.
This all being said, I love my life. I believe that no matter how many hardships you’ll have in this journey of life you will be rewarded with something very special and spectacular. I believe that, without a doubt, life will generally work to your favor at some point. You may have to wait and sift through the bad for long, long hours, but life will get better.
I promise.
So, for the love of a fat girl…
Keep smiling, readers. Someone out there really adores that gorgeous smile of yours!
Sincerely,The Fat Girl
And sometimes, well, I'm not so sure I can answer.
I feel like I need to give you guys a slightly more in depth glimpse of who I am and why I've started this blog for you, for the world.
I attended a Child Abuse class last night for work, I have to have it for my new job at Toddler Time daycare, and after talking with a very amazing woman (she taught the class) I decided I needed to finally post this for my readers and followers.
Warning: This entry includes semi-graphic content that you could find offensive. This is my life, my story, please do not show any negativity towards my views and happenings.
I feel I should write this blog, because you all only know a certain side of me. As readers, that isn’t fair to you, because you should know me better. I believe that no one can give advice to you if you don’t have a little insight on their person! So, let me formally apologize for not introducing myself a bit better before now!
My name is Sisi Nicole Minton; I’m a 19 year old student at Heidelberg University. I’m studying English Education, and I sing. Music used to be my life, but some events changed that when I got to college. I hate to say that, but it’s completely true. That part if me isn’t too important. The rest of this is.
My outlook on life is probably much, much different than yours because, you see, I’ve been through a lot. When I was very young my parents could no longer care for themselves or each other due to crippling disabilities. This was hard enough, as I had to learn how to take care of my little brother, and help more around the house than most kids had to at my age. I was in 8th grade when I finally was able to see a change in my parents, they could take care of themselves by this point in my life, but the events that happened than year, sadly, nearly ended my life.
I was raped near the end of my 8th grade year, when the rest of the 8th grade class went to Washington D.C. I was 13 years old. I didn’t know the guy who did it, I know his name but I didn’t know him personally. I got raped in the Greenroom of my Middle School’s theatre building. I remember those 45 minutes like they happened yesterday. It had just started storming outside, I was trying to get to my bus on time and the quickest way out was through the theatre building that was attached to our school. I usually didn’t come this way, but I was running late that afternoon so it had to be done. I went to the doors, and to my surprise they were locked. I was just starting out in the theatre and knew they usually weren’t locked this early after the bell, but I didn’t pay it any mind. I went through the Greenroom door, which is where he caught me. Pulling me inside of that room he told me not to scream, not to tell. I didn’t. I said no, that I didn’t want him to touch me, but he didn’t listen. It was a grueling 45 minutes to say the least. I lost my virginity to a rapist, and could never get it back.
I wonder, though, how bad is it that THAT was running through my head? My virginity was the only thing I cared about at that point. I didn’t cry while he was raping me, I didn’t scream and I didn’t do anything besides what he told me to do. I was scared, thoughtless after the first twenty or so minutes of the ordeal. When he was finally done I just layed there on the floor, gathering my clothes. I got dressed and quietly went to the office, tearless, and called my parents. They came and got me.
I didn’t say a word from Friday until Monday.
I was already going through a phase at this point of my life. I wore nothing but black because that’s what my friends wore. I thought I’d found my place to fit in in the “Gothic” crowd but I was wrong. By Monday rumors had started, some of my best friends stopped talking to me because of these rumors. I sat in silence, afraid to speak out about what had happened because it was my fault, right? Sitting in Science class that afternoon for 8th period, and guess who sat beside me? Him. It was him, the guy who had raped me. “Organism spells Orgasm too, you know?” He said, sliding his hand right down my thigh and between my legs. I’d had it at that point, I lost my temper. I slapped him, and finally told a teacher what had happened. I mean, I know everyone hates a snitch but I had to tell someone.
That was the night my parents hit me for the first time. I had to go home and tell them, or else the school would call and tell them for me. I thought they’d understand, I thought of all people, my parents would’ve supported me. My dad was the first to raise his voice, my mother the first to raise her hand. Not only was I raped, but I was beaten so badly I had to go to the hospital. I went to bed soon after that, with broken ribs and a bruised up body.
I wanted to die.
The trial for my rape didn’t take place for a year. In the middle of my Freshman year of high school I was still getting harassed by the guy who raped me. Matters were taken into my real friends’ hands. One pushed him down the stairs, the other knocked his head against a metal rail a few times. Believe it or not, the teachers – knowing what the guy had done – just watched while this happened. The principal asked me if I knew anything about this, I said no. I had no idea what some of my friends were doing until after the incidents.
He was never convicted, never in trouble for what he did.
After the rape and abuse started when I was 13, I started sleeping around. I got into drinking, was put into a rehabilitation program, and experimented ONCE with drugs. I can easily tell you now that I have never been more of a wreck than I was at this time in my life. I was fooling around with people I shouldn’t have even been associating with, and I was drinking like a fish. I had gone downhill at this point in my life. I’m only glad I could get clean when I did.
It’s been 6 years since the abuse by my parents started, and I am stronger because of it. I can’t say I’m pleased with it in the least, but it’s something that has helped me grow. You’ve all heard the phrase “tough love,” but I’ve never experienced real, true, parental love. I have, of course, friends that truly love me and older friends (ie teachers, directors, fellow MCPers) but until this past Valentine’s Day I have never been in love with someone as much as I am in love with my boyfriend Kyle.
When the relationship started out, and I mean when we were dating and not just besties, I was a self-conscious, scared-to-death girl. I hated myself, I hated my weight and the way I looked. Kyle helped me change that. Through his help and encouragement I spoke to someone about my rape for the first time in 5 years, and I finally confronted my abuse with the love and encouragement not only of my boyfriend, but of my best friends. I have never been so scared and relieved in my life. The day I finally talked about my abuse and rape, was the first time I cried in front of, well, pretty much anyone.
I cried in front of my boyfriend, someone I really never wanted to see me cry.
I think it made us closer though.
I’m not one to open up about my feelings to someone like a boyfriend, and I certainly wasn’t planning on opening up like that to him. Not a chance! I thought, if I do this it’s going to scare him off, but no. For the first time in my life I had someone that close to me who really cared enough to listen. It felt like the first time he said ‘I love you’ to me. You know that feeling you get when you just know something good is about to happen? I have that feeling a lot when I’m with him, readers.
I am irrevocably, unbelievably, undeniably in love with him.
For the love of a fat girl. People may think it doesn’t take much to convince someone like me that they love me, it’s happened before. “I love you” is tossed around so easily now, and I’m the kind of idiot who’s believed it before. I’ve done things before that I regret just because someone said that to me.
Have you ever had that feeling when you look into someone’s eyes and you just know that there’s that… that special something there? That sort of… imistakable devotion and adoration between you and the person you’re with? That’s how I feel with him, readers.
For the love of a fat girl.
I’m completely head over heels,
Story-book romance,
Cheesey Disney movie storyline,
In love with him.
This all being said, I love my life. I believe that no matter how many hardships you’ll have in this journey of life you will be rewarded with something very special and spectacular. I believe that, without a doubt, life will generally work to your favor at some point. You may have to wait and sift through the bad for long, long hours, but life will get better.
I promise.
So, for the love of a fat girl…
Keep smiling, readers. Someone out there really adores that gorgeous smile of yours!
Sincerely,The Fat Girl
Sunday, October 25, 2009
We see women everyday that we wish we were as thin as, as blonde as, as tall as. We wish we had their hair style, we wish we had those shoes, that shirt, or that fantastic dress. We wish we had a killer body to rock it all with.
The reality of this world is that there are only so many lucky "tall, blonde, Amazonian" and so many "tall, dark, handsome" men.
In this interview, the second in my series, we're going to hear real answers to real questions about how the media affects even a skinny girl. Read on for the story of a woman who could give any Lauren Conrad a run for her money.
Q: How does the media effect your self esteem as a skinny girl?
A: More negatively than postively. While there are positives, the media CONSTANTLY shows incredibly skinny women who they tell me I need to look like. I'd rather just be myself, whether they like it or not.
Q: Tell me what kind of girls you see on television. Through the makeup and special effects, can you ever really see the real world flaws these women and men have?
A: Unfortunately no. They may play the "Average" girl on whatever show they're on, but they really struggle to bring any realism to the scenes.
Q: How would you fix the media's negative imaging if you were in charge?
A: I'd put some more 'normal' women in shows. Average boob size, average weight, etc.
Q: Concerning self esteem; you're cute, skinny, and talented. You're also fairly petite, with dark hair and eyes. Do all the images of tall, blonde, and blue eyed girls ever get to you?
A: Surprisingly, yes.
Q: Besides being one of the author's best friends, why do you support this blog?
A: I support The Fat Girl because it has an amazingly powerful message that people of any size should real and interpret into their lives.
And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. If you ever thought that the media didn't hurt the skinny women of the world, there's your theory being disproved.
Understand this, readers:
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I don't care who you are, what you look like, or how much you weigh. If you think you're hot and treat yourself like you're the hottest thing since sliced bread, baby you are gonna be THE biggest threat to society since the flippin' Uni Bomber!
Be armed.
Be fabulous.
Readers, this is what life is about! Carpe this world for what it is now. Be a fat kid with pride, be a skinny kid with pride!
Be YOU with PRIDE!
:)
I love you all.
Check out the blog this time next weekend for an interview with The Gay Man.
Stay beautiful readers.
Sincerely,
The Fat Girl
The reality of this world is that there are only so many lucky "tall, blonde, Amazonian" and so many "tall, dark, handsome" men.
In this interview, the second in my series, we're going to hear real answers to real questions about how the media affects even a skinny girl. Read on for the story of a woman who could give any Lauren Conrad a run for her money.
Q: How does the media effect your self esteem as a skinny girl?
A: More negatively than postively. While there are positives, the media CONSTANTLY shows incredibly skinny women who they tell me I need to look like. I'd rather just be myself, whether they like it or not.
Q: Tell me what kind of girls you see on television. Through the makeup and special effects, can you ever really see the real world flaws these women and men have?
A: Unfortunately no. They may play the "Average" girl on whatever show they're on, but they really struggle to bring any realism to the scenes.
Q: How would you fix the media's negative imaging if you were in charge?
A: I'd put some more 'normal' women in shows. Average boob size, average weight, etc.
Q: Concerning self esteem; you're cute, skinny, and talented. You're also fairly petite, with dark hair and eyes. Do all the images of tall, blonde, and blue eyed girls ever get to you?
A: Surprisingly, yes.
Q: Besides being one of the author's best friends, why do you support this blog?
A: I support The Fat Girl because it has an amazingly powerful message that people of any size should real and interpret into their lives.
And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. If you ever thought that the media didn't hurt the skinny women of the world, there's your theory being disproved.
Understand this, readers:
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I don't care who you are, what you look like, or how much you weigh. If you think you're hot and treat yourself like you're the hottest thing since sliced bread, baby you are gonna be THE biggest threat to society since the flippin' Uni Bomber!
Be armed.
Be fabulous.
Readers, this is what life is about! Carpe this world for what it is now. Be a fat kid with pride, be a skinny kid with pride!
Be YOU with PRIDE!
:)
I love you all.
Check out the blog this time next weekend for an interview with The Gay Man.
Stay beautiful readers.
Sincerely,
The Fat Girl
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Readers, the next four posts will be interviews for you all to read, love, and experience. This first interview is from someone you’ve all seen comments from, and you’ve all heard me speak very actively about.
My boyfriend.
I’m trying to show you all that this is NOT just about one overweight woman bitching and moaning, you should understand that this is not what this is about! I want you all to see four real world people and get their real insight on this blog and what I’m all about and trying to accomplish.
This is not just for fat girls or guys. This is for gay men and women, skinny men and women, and everyone else in the world. So, please read ahead and enjoy this interview from The Skinny Boy.
Q: What first attracted you to The Fat Girl? Body, mind, or personality?
A: I’d have to say the first thing I saw was her body and face, and that’s what attracted me.
Q: What apprehensions did you have about starting the relationship? Did weight play a factor in your decision?
A: I was hesitant. One because it was my first relationship, and two because I knew we’d get judged for it. I didn’t want you to get hurt and I was self conscious about it because I was attracted to a bigger girl.
Q: How did you feel about dating her the first couple of months?
A: It was my first relationship, it was surprising but fine.
Q: As far as when you were “just friends,” was there ever a time when hiding how you felt got hard?
A: Yes! Especially when I was in tight pants! (hahaha)
Q: Besides being boyfriend and girlfriend, do you think your friendship is still as strong as it used to be?
A: Yes, I do.
Q: Do you think the phrase “more to love” is appropriate? Why or why not?
A: It depends on the context. It’s just a cute term of endearment, you can put a positive spin on something negatively viewed by using it in this way.
Q: On media; do you think us big girls get more positive or negative publicity?
A: More negative, but in the last couple of years more positive. People are realizing some great plus sized people are actually healthy and good role models.
Q: Besides the fact that you’re dating the author of this blog, why do you support Sincerely, The Fat Girl?
A: I support because I have friends of all sizes. A lot of my female friends are plus sized and, to be honest, I’ve always found plus sized girls to be very attractive.
In the next post – that I will post up at the beginning of next week – I will show you the effects of The Skinny Girl, a very close personal friend of mine. She’s smart, funny, talented and good looking. She’s skinny, but not tall, chesty, or even blonde. She’s not the media darling you see in every television show plaguing public television now, but she’d give any Lauren Conrad a run for her money. I want you all to check out this interview to see just how the media effects even a skinny girl.
Sincerely,
The Fat Girl
My boyfriend.
I’m trying to show you all that this is NOT just about one overweight woman bitching and moaning, you should understand that this is not what this is about! I want you all to see four real world people and get their real insight on this blog and what I’m all about and trying to accomplish.
This is not just for fat girls or guys. This is for gay men and women, skinny men and women, and everyone else in the world. So, please read ahead and enjoy this interview from The Skinny Boy.
Q: What first attracted you to The Fat Girl? Body, mind, or personality?
A: I’d have to say the first thing I saw was her body and face, and that’s what attracted me.
Q: What apprehensions did you have about starting the relationship? Did weight play a factor in your decision?
A: I was hesitant. One because it was my first relationship, and two because I knew we’d get judged for it. I didn’t want you to get hurt and I was self conscious about it because I was attracted to a bigger girl.
Q: How did you feel about dating her the first couple of months?
A: It was my first relationship, it was surprising but fine.
Q: As far as when you were “just friends,” was there ever a time when hiding how you felt got hard?
A: Yes! Especially when I was in tight pants! (hahaha)
Q: Besides being boyfriend and girlfriend, do you think your friendship is still as strong as it used to be?
A: Yes, I do.
Q: Do you think the phrase “more to love” is appropriate? Why or why not?
A: It depends on the context. It’s just a cute term of endearment, you can put a positive spin on something negatively viewed by using it in this way.
Q: On media; do you think us big girls get more positive or negative publicity?
A: More negative, but in the last couple of years more positive. People are realizing some great plus sized people are actually healthy and good role models.
Q: Besides the fact that you’re dating the author of this blog, why do you support Sincerely, The Fat Girl?
A: I support because I have friends of all sizes. A lot of my female friends are plus sized and, to be honest, I’ve always found plus sized girls to be very attractive.
In the next post – that I will post up at the beginning of next week – I will show you the effects of The Skinny Girl, a very close personal friend of mine. She’s smart, funny, talented and good looking. She’s skinny, but not tall, chesty, or even blonde. She’s not the media darling you see in every television show plaguing public television now, but she’d give any Lauren Conrad a run for her money. I want you all to check out this interview to see just how the media effects even a skinny girl.
Sincerely,
The Fat Girl
Labels: big girls, boys, fat, interview, love, More to Love, relationships, skinny, skinny girls